The DIY Jigsaw Guy

Ever wonder what a jigsaw would do to an ignition?

No. You don’t wonder. Want to see anyways? Yup.

I took a call one evening, just before dark. A mother called me on behalf of her son. Her son had lost his keys, after looking all afternoon he decided that he would just hot wire his car somehow. Easy right? This was a early 2000’s GM with a in-dash ignition. I immediately thought I’m a locksmith, and as a professional I find these ignitions unpleasant. This poor guy had the odds stacked against him but still… Okay anyways, his mother then goes on to ask if I’m available after hours and I told her I was. I began looking for a new ignition quickly as retail part stores were closing soon. Who stocks in-dash ignitions? The parents don’t care about the price they just wanted that kid gone. Mom wanted this job done ASAP, her son was exhausting her. I found the cheapest part available retail and I’m on my way. It was a beautiful evening outside if your wondering, sunny mid 70’s, low humidity, that’s Saint Paul, MN at its best.

Back on track here. I pull up with a new lock in hand, and approach the car with a crap ton of tools, drill bits, a GM killer pick set, sockets… I wasn’t sure what I was walking into. I was greeted by an suburban gangster, who immediately asked me how long it would take, then complained 45 minute estimate wasn’t meeting his expectations. Guess I’m a slow locksmith dog, sorry. He wandered off to chat with his homie on his celly, and I got to work. I didn’t know I was about to discover a original technique, one I would never have thought of. Honestly I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it. His strategy was to put a jigsaw blade into the ignition and work the trigger. This was by far the dumbest way I have seen any customer try on a ignition. The challenge creates the opportunity right?

Here it is, in all it’s glory. The jigsaw pick pic.

MN suburb locksmith
Yes that is a jigsaw blade filling the keyway. I drilled the side bar and replaced it with a new switch.

I decided to drill the side-bar out, and I  got the ignition turned as the young man’s father comes out. I start the car, and the stereo’s screen slides out to show it’s big fancy face and on comes Snoop Doggy Dog. Yeah he had subs, loud ones. Every time you get one to turn doesn’t it feel good? Snoop Doggy Dog makes it even better! The father denied ownership of the CD, turns out it was definitely his son’s. He was pretty embarrassed by the hip-hop music. I made some small talk to take his mind off it as I dropped in a new switch, & that 2000 Buick is ready to fill the suburban streets with beats once more. I think Jigsaw would be a good gangsta name. I should have suggested it to him, that’s my only regret on this call.

What did I teach you today? Jigsaws don’t go in ignitions, unless you want to totally F*** them, then they go in ignitions.

 

 

 

 

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